Befriending a Psychopath: Blog#5

Most people I connect with are fairly similar. They tend to have somewhat similar interests to my other friends and I, and I rarely have disagreements with any of them. This isn't necessarily a bad thing since similar people will get along much easier and most likely connect on levels that most dissimilar people can't. However, I have one good friend who is a very strong exception to this strange rule of similarity. Their name is Liz, and they are in many ways my polar opposite. We don't like the same foods, shows, music, hobbies, school subjects, hell we don't even like the same kind of people, but for some strange reason, unlike just about everyone else I have ever met, that didn't manage to stop us from becoming friends. 

Most of my time with friends is usually spent in a sort of “safe” way. By that I mean our time spent together may be friendly and entertaining, but rarely does the focus drastically shift from day to day, creating a somewhat repetitive atmosphere where not many unexpected outcomes emerge. This is nearly the exact opposite of my time spent with Liz. Instead of talking about simple things I would normally discuss with friends such as school or weekend plans, we talk about things such as the absurd amount of money she spends on video games on a daily basis, cussing out our younger brothers when they refuse to quiet down, whether or not my amazing fascination with keyboards is as bad as her horrible, psychopathic obsession with expensive pants, and other equally random and useless topics. As you might guess, stating my objectively correct opinion that keyboards are a far more valid obsession than pants has led to many heated debates, and that’s why spending time with Liz is so fun. It's impossible to know what hell she is about to unleash on you. 

If someone held a gun to my head and asked me “What is your favorite thing about Liz?”, I would probably still be dumb enough to give a bad joke as I try to avoid being sincere. But, if you gave me a while to think about the question and a pack of Oreos, I would have to go with her ability to seamlessly switch between being the smartest person I’ve ever met to being absolutely clueless. Ask her anything about school, video games, music, or clothes and she will happily spend the next half hour lecturing you on everything she knows about the topic. However, ask her about almost anything else and she begins to flop and lose all sense of knowledge almost immediately. It’s impressive in its own weird, confusing way.

Currently, Liz and I live on opposite sides of the country, making meeting in person near impossible for two people who are incapable of driving. However, we still make sure to harass and confuse each other every day as we drive each other to the brink of wanting to smack the other across the face. We have agreed to save up some money for a visit somewhere in the near future so hopefully we won’t have to keep our smacking ambitions to ourselves for much longer. I won’t be able to see Liz for a few years, but I am grateful for having the chance to befriend her all the same.